As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, I find it hard to acknowledge when I don’t get things right. Now that I’m a bit older, and hopefully wiser, I’ve come to see mistakes as a means for personal growth. I observe this dynamic in action while living with psoriasis. When I started thinking about the mistakes I’ve made with my psoriasis, the list quickly grew. Here are my five biggest psoriasis mistakes and what I’ve learned from them.
1. Not Feeling Comfortable Asking for Help
In my second year of college, I found myself covered with psoriatic lesions — some cracking and bleeding. Phototherapy and topical steroids couldn’t stop the wildfire of inflammation spreading on my skin. I made the mistake of not calling the dermatologist out of the fear of “bothering” her. Especially as a young adult, I lacked the confidence and assertiveness I needed to take charge of my health. My low self-esteem primarily stemmed from the social stigma of psoriasis and the discrimination I faced as a Chinese American. At my next scheduled clinic visit the doctor looked at my lesions and told me I should have contacted her sooner. I could have started two weeks earlier on the systemic medication that began to ease the psoriasis flare. I think of that incident whenever I’m hesitant to contact my dermatologist’s office. I still don’t want to be a nuisance, but the online patient portal makes it easy for me to contact my doctor anytime.
2. Not Switching Medications Soon Enough
Another psoriasis mistake I’ve made is staying with a treatment for too long. When I start a new treatment, I feel a surge of hope. I’m looking for relief, even if it means needing to patiently wait — I’m aware that some psoriasis medications can take weeks or longer before seeing their full effect. Feeling optimistic, I look at the scientific literature and compare my own response with published data from clinical trials. But when a treatment doesn’t start to work when I expect it to, my tendency is to stick with it longer than I should. One time I took a biologic for six months and ended up with worse psoriasis. With two other systemic medications I experienced side effects that began in the first weeks of treatment. Although I should have stopped, I kept going until I couldn’t bear to continue any longer. It’s still challenging to gauge when to switch medications, but I’ve become more attuned to doing so before my psoriasis gets much worse or side effects become intolerable.
3. Letting My Skin Dry Out
My wife says I’m as stubborn as my psoriasis. For years I took hot showers twice a day, which can increase dryness and irritation. To make matters worse, I only occasionally moisturized my skin. Even when my dermatologist showed me how dry my skin was, it took me a while before I took his advice and tried showering only at night. I noticed my skin felt better and wished I’d listened to my doctor in the first place. Later, a nurse at a university psoriasis clinic mentioned the importance of moisturizing psoriatic skin, echoing my dermatologist’s advice. Again, I wished I had followed my doctor’s directions. My skin felt even better when I moisturized after showering in the evening and then again the next morning. I’m grateful for my dermatologist’s patience as I figured how to better care for my dry skin. I’ve learned how important it is to surround myself with people who, like my doctor, will support me even when I inevitably make mistakes.
4. Ignoring Mental Health
Psoriasis is tough to live with, but in my teen years I promised myself I wouldn’t let it limit me in any way. In fact, I committed to doing better both in sports and academics than those without a chronic illness. I made the varsity track team and won scholarships for college — but I also became an emotional mess. I made the mistake of ignoring the impact psoriasis had on my mental health and relationships. I often felt anxious, demoralized, and depressed when my psoriasis flared. I eventually developed negative coping strategies like eating junk food. As an adult, I couldn’t mask my simmering frustration with my psoriasis, which also affected how I reacted when my kids made a mess or something went wrong at work. I credit a psychology professor who taught a class on self-care for ministers for helping me address my mental health issues more effectively. I especially benefited from his lectures on anger management, work-life balance, and stress reduction. After reading a paper I wrote for the class he encouraged me to seek professional counseling. The counselor helped me understand the lifelong pain I carried inside me from living with psoriasis. I shared about the bullying I endured and the feelings I experienced of being a social outcast, all of which I channeled into my sometimes unhealthy drive to achieve. By extending grace and forgiveness to myself and others I’ve found healing and peace with my past.
5. Overlooking Overall Health and Wellness
With a persistent health concern like psoriasis, I’ve naturally focused most of my energy on my skin health. I’ve seen a dermatologist every two to three months for as long as I can remember, and along the way I added other specialists I see regularly such as my allergist and ophthalmologist. But I often neglected seeing my primary care physician. But after learning about a number of health conditions associated with the inflammation of psoriasis, such as diabetes and cardiovascular disease, I have come to recognize the importance of overall health check-ups. My primary care doctor is currently monitoring my blood sugar and heart health. Thankfully, I’ve become a lot more willing to admit it when I’ve made a mistake with my psoriasis. I’ve even accepted that I may need to get things wrong a few times before figuring out the right choice. Maybe you feel the same way. If so, know that if we can share our mistakes and the lessons we’ve learned, we’ll all move ahead on this journey together. You can read more about my experiences on my website, PsoHoward.
